singled out
by Makoto Kudou
Summary: (The title is supposed to be in all lower-case) I wrote this a bit ago, tried to upload it, didn't get to, so here it is. Aya contemplating Weiss. Songfic, based on "On My Own" by The Used.


singled out AN: its supposed to be all in lower case. umm.... yeah all of a sudden i'm writing another new fanfic... based on the song "on my own" by the used who i 3... its really wierd because i'm writing this but linkin park's "faint" on their meteora cd is put on loop and is playing... i love both these songs *_* freak! ah! its a lot longer than it was supposed to be too. warnings: aya being bitchy, i suppose... perhaps shonen ai. disclaimer: the lyrics are ©the used, aya©weiss project and koyasu and kyoko tsuchiya and all that... blah.. ~~~~~~  
  
Climbing up old metal stairs that go creak with the slightest weight, a cat would've disturbed them, a cat -was- disturbing them, making his way slowly up to the roof of their apartment building/workplace. He hadn't even bothered to stop in his room and remove the leather jacket or pants, not even the gloves or boots- hell- he still had his weapon with him. Stupid move, but if he didn't go up there now, he'd end up passing out on his bed, exhaustion threatening him every second. He finally got to the asphalt top, looking around. The city was lovely from up there, all glimmering lights and clouds of white... steam or smoke? from the buildings. He walked to the edge, sitting down on the slightly raised rim, feet dangling down as his eyes moved in that direction, to study Tokyo's nightlife as he'd found himself "enjoying" an after-mission ritual like Yohji's cigarettes or Omi's online games...  
  
~See all those people on the ground  
  
wasting time~  
  
He took in a deep breath, then relieved it again, closing his eyes and looking upward at the night sky. The concrete rim of the building was a good 2 feet wide, large enough for him to lie down upon, so he did just that, one leg hanging off the edge. Sometimes he wondered if he shifted to move with that leg- say he fell asleep out there- would he shift- would he fall- would he know he was dead when he hit..? He watched the stars glimmer, a plane fly overhead. Once again reliving the deaths he'd caused.  
  
~I try to hold it all inside  
  
but just for tonight~  
  
A seperate pair of footsteps were coming up now, a different cat with watchful eyes. He'd seen their wonderful leader head up here, and he wondered what the hell was so interesting about the roof of their building. Standing a couple stairs down, he leaned over the rim and watched Aya lying there, staring at the stars, silent and motionless.  
  
~The top of the world  
  
sitting here wishing~  
  
His eyes were half closed, and he was oblivious to the warm air... he had to be suffocating in all that dead cow-hide. He took light steps in his boots, cautious of the redhead's -well fuck there was only one way to say it- the redhead's spider-sense. Perhaps he didn't care, perhaps he didn't know, but Aya didn't stir as the golden-haired killer moved close, sitting down on the rim next to his head and lighting up. He chanced a look down at Aya- his eyes were fully closed. "So... Aya?" Aya didn't move. Just hm-ed. "... Do you wanna be alone or..." Aya hm-ed again, in that tone that only -he- could deliver, saying he didn't care whether Yohji stayed or went. Yohji nodded. He finished off the cigarette, then stood again. "It's late... don't be out too long, 'kay leader?" Aya moved his hand slightly to show he heard, and Yohji headed back down, stairs creaking as he went.  
  
~The things I've become  
  
that something is missing~  
  
Aya sat up when Yohji was gone, able to still catch his cologne on the wind, looking at the stairs, half-expecting him to come back...  
  
~Maybe I...~  
  
/Come on back, Yohji-/ his mind whispered for a fleeting moment.  
  
~But what do I know~  
  
He shook his head vigorously, then placed his hand to it, feeling his equilibrium briefly shit out on him. He closed his eyes, waiting until balance returned, then carefully stood up, wiping bits of dust and dirt from his clothes. He looked at the stairs, then sat back down. Maybe he'd stay a bit longer. Just a bit longer. Thinking about that day again..  
  
/Yo!/ /Who are you?/ /Oye oye, you're in -my- bed.../  
  
~And now it seems that I have found  
  
nothing at all~  
  
Suddenly Aya wanted to go downstairs and call out for Yohji, make him come back- maybe he should have said something while he was up there already- but he couldn't- his tongue had been paralyzed..  
  
~I want to hear your voice out loud  
  
slow it down~  
  
He closed his own eyes again, facing the sky, lying back down. He'd have to take a shower, God knows how dirty this damn sheet of brick was. As dirty as his hands.  
  
~Without it all  
  
I'm choking on nothing~  
  
Was he really killing in the name of someone he loved? And why was he doing something like that- so cruel- to his beloved sister? Why did he always think such things at this time of night? Why couldn't he just forget it?!  
  
~It's clear in my head  
  
and I'm screaming for something~  
  
And who were they really working for? Was it really right what they were doing? .. No... if.. they're supposed to be good- why must they bathe in sin to be good? Why does anyone have to be killed for problems to be solved? Why is this the only way? "Why do my questions go unanswered?" he whispered, fingers digging into the concrete, eyes closed tightly. He felt his body reel to the edge that his leg was dangling over-  
  
~Knowing nothing is better than knowing at all..~  
  
Felt himself falling downwards at a rapid pace- but slow... his coat billowing out behind him- now he truly looked like a dark angel, his eyes watered as he sped towards the dull dirty ground- dirt for dirt to die on.. taking a legacy of murder with him-  
  
~On My Own~  
  
He woke up to the strike, which was surprisingly soft... He opened his eyes, and rolled over, looking up into an unknown face. "... ... am I dead? Am I in Hell?" were the first words from his mouth. A low chuckle- familiar... "You said it best yourself when you said 'Neither death nor devil', Aya." He blinked his eyes hard, Yohji's face coming into focus. "How come every time you pass out, I have to take care of you?" He shook his head. "I waited for you to come down for an hour. You fell asleep up there or something."  
  
It had been a dream? The fall had been a... a dream? "You're hogging my bed... do you wanna get up and go to your own?" Perhaps it had been the realism of that dream that reminded him how death lurked, or perhaps it was just something... "No." Yohji made a face and sighed. "Good thing my bed's big enough for two... and if you mind then I guess you'll just have to move- I'm not sleeping on the damn couch-" He watched as Aya made ample room for Yohji in the bed, pressing himself against the wall, his eyes lowered. He looked at his body under the covers, realizing Yohji had stripped him -completely- *and put him in a pair of the blonde's own pajama pants. He could tell because they were longer than his legs by an inch or two. "Yo...?" He let the name fade on his mouth, Yohji briefly looking at him as he made to climb into the bed. "You alright, Aya?" He nodded, and Yohji nodded back once, climbing in. "There... I hope you don't wet the bed." he grumbled smartly, turning onto his side. Aya remained pressed against the wall, and finally reached out to touch Yohji's shoulder. Yohji turned, looking at him. "What?" Aya remained quiet, trusting himself only to press against Yohji's body, eyes closed. Yohji made a faint protest, that he kicked in his sleep or something- but Aya's arms were already encircling his waist, a cheek already pressed to the spot where his heart was. Yohji almost blushed, surprised their great leader could act just like this... "Maybe you have a heart after all..." he muttered, looking at Aya.  
  
~Without it all I'm choking on nothing~  
  
He made a half hearted attempt to slide out of Aya's grasp, and Aya only tightened it. "Don't-" he bit his lip. Then his arms broke from around Yohji's waist, and he retracted them. "Sorry. I'll get out now." He sat up, blushing, mentally ripping himself apart.  
  
~It's clear in my head  
  
and I'm screaming for something~  
  
Yohji stopped him with a light touch on his arm that turned into a hold, Aya turning around to look into his face. "Yohji, what do you want?" Yohji looked to one side, then back at Aya, leaning forward and kissing him. The poor redhead almost fell backwards, and he did start to lean, Yohji's arms immediately wrapping around him to keep him balanced. When the kiss broke, all Aya could do was stare at Yohji in shock. Then he pressed forward, resting his head against Yohji's chest once more. "Yohji..."  
  
~Knowing nothing is better than knowing at all..~  
  
Yohji stroked his face and hair, kissing him again, slower this time, Aya enjoying every full minute of it. Yohji pressed their cheeks together, whispering Aya's name into his ear. "Aya..." "Yeah Yohji?" "Aya..." "Yohji?" "Aya..." "What?" "AYA!" The poor redhead sat up in bed, looking at the door. "Aya-kun, are you okay?" It was Omi. "Yeah." "Well if you need anything..." he trailed off, and Aya looked down, sighing. A dream in a dream... it must be a really bad day. "We have that mission tonight, Aya-kun... are you ready?" Aya groaned. The last thing he wanted to think about was a mission.  
  
~On My Own~  
  
Climbing up old metal stairs that go creak with the slightest weight, a cat would've disturbed them, a cat -was- disturbing them, making his way slowly up to the roof of their apartment building/workplace. He hadn't even bothered to stop in his room and remove the leather jacket or pants, not even the gloves or boots- hell- he still had his weapon with him. Stupid move, but if he didn't go up there now, he'd end up passing out on his bed, exhaustion threatening him every second. He finally got to the asphalt top, looking around. The city was lovely from up there, all glimmering lights and clouds of white... steam or smoke? from the buildings. He walked to the edge, sitting down on the slightly raised rim, feet dangling down as his eyes moved in that direction, to study Tokyo's nightlife as he'd found himself "enjoying" an after-mission ritual like Yohji's cigarettes or Omi's online games... He took in a deep breath, then relieved it again, closing his eyes and looking upward at the night sky. The concrete rim of the building was a good 2 feet wide, large enough for him to lie down upon, so he did just that, one leg hanging off the edge. Sometimes he wondered if he shifted to move with that leg- say he fell asleep out there- would he shift- would he fall- would he know he was dead when he hit..? He watched the stars glimmer, a plane fly overhead. Once again reliving the deaths he'd caused. A seperate pair of footsteps were coming up now, a different cat with watchful eyes. He'd seen their wonderful leader head up here, and he wondered what the hell was so interesting about the roof of their building. Standing a couple stairs down, he leaned over the rim and watched Aya lying there, staring at the stars, silent and motionless. His eyes were half closed, and he was oblivious to the warm air... he had to be suffocating in all that dead cow-hide. He took light steps in his boots, cautious of the redhead's -well fuck there was only one way to say it- the redhead's spider-sense. Perhaps he didn't care, perhaps he didn't know, but Aya didn't stir as the golden-haired killer moved close, sitting down on the rim next to his head and lighting up. He chanced a look down at Aya- his eyes were fully closed. "So... Aya?" Aya didn't move. Just hm-ed. "... Do you wanna be alone or..." Aya started to hm, but then opened his eyes, realizing how much like his dream this all was. "No. Don't leave." He sat up slowly, to save his poor body from a dizzy spell, and turned to look at Yohji. The assassin was surprised, the cigarette hanging from his lower lip. Aya reached out, plucking it from Yohji's mouth and taking a drag on it himself, before throwing it down and crushing it, hacking on the smoke. "Aya? Is everything okay?" Aya looked back at Yohji, nodding. "Yeah... I... ... well..." He looked at Yohji, biting his lip. Yohji looked at the dead, barely-smoked cigarette, then back at Aya. "You know, sometimes I trade blowjobs for cigarettes." He smirked, pushing his sunglasses up -he wore them even at night- and blinked as Aya shrugged and grinned, before leaning forward to kiss him hard, a hand in his hair. "Bring it on."  
  
EnD ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
* I would -pay- yohji to strip me. or at least strip for me ;) 


End file.
